I wasn't nervous, and it is always great to have my wife by my side. Dad was all smiles as he just returned from a meeting to further his business. Things always seem better with him when business is good.
We met for an hour and a half. He shared multiple times about his travels to Mexico and the orphanage that he is helping to build. It really is comforting to hear him talk about helping the orphans, it helps me to see his heart.
My struggle today was to not be critical. True, there have been many conversations that I have had with Dad hurt deeply and make me wonder if I am a total failure. However today he talked about the lost of this world and the need to reach them (a subject I am very passionate about!). However the meeting was as it always is... him talking. My wife never said a word, nor was she asked to respond. When I would try to engage on agreeable topics, he would jump in and continue speaking. Everything he said was Bible based and worthwhile to talk about. Yet I fought to not be critical because we felt as though we were being preached at, rather than interacted with.
I think that my Dad only knows one way to engage in conversation; talk to someone rather than listen to someone. Today my wife and I, like usual, listened.
My struggle is in my criticism. There isn't anything wrong with listening instead of being part of a conversation, but still I feel frustrated that I wasn't able to connect with his heart. He talked to me like a little kid... again. What should I do to not be so critical of his strange conversation style? Certainly I'm not supposed to teach him how to interact socially right now, am I?
My wife commented today that she, "never hears me talk with anybody else the way I do with my Dad." I speak in a monotone, and am basically expressionless. Maybe for fear riling him up, I'm really not sure.
Pray for me in this brothers, I really want to give him grace and absolute encouragement.
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