Last night I had one of the most disturbing dreams of my life. And the way I woke up from the dream was even more terrifying.
The dream started out with my Dad, my wife, and I spending time at his house. I was definitely feeling stressed whenever I was around my Dad, but at first, everything was basically normal.
In a moment everything changed. Dad became angry and started being violent. He wasn't swinging punches but I remember feeling like he could have.
As I stepped back to take a look at what was happening and I noticed that there was another woman in his life. Maybe he remarried, I wasn't sure. We drove a truck that had a trailer attached to it as if we were wanting to load something up.
Dad quickly became tired and decided to go lie down. While he did this my wife and I were in a frantic hurry to load up some furniture and get out of there as quickly as possible. At this point I realized that once we left his house, we wouldn't have any plans of seeing him again. We really were afraid.
Once all the furniture we wanted was on the trailer, we ran to the truck as fast as we could. Immediately Dad jumped out of nowhere with a chainsaw and started swinging it at me. He took three or four giant swings with the thing roaring and puffing smoke and almost got me. I somehow made it to the truck, jumped in and drove down the driveway as fast as possible. Dad chased us with a fury in his eyes that I had never seen before.
Even still, I had a sickening thought that although he was trying to cut me with a chainsaw, he wouldn't want to kill me... right? "He didn't really want to hurt me," I thought.
My wife asked me what we should do and I told her that we needed to go back to our house, load up everything we had space for, and leave for good. I remember thinking that there was a possibility that we would come to our house, and that I would have to shoot him to defend my family.
The dream ends.
I woke up, and nothing was different. I wasn't dripping sweat like I have during other less life-threatening dreams. I rolled over to my wife and told her I had a bad dream, and that was the end of it. I wasn't bothered at all that a sick dream like this had just found it's way in my head.
The bottom line here fellas, is that I know for certain that I am afraid of my Dad. I haven't talked to him for almost 2 weeks, although I have tried calling him several times- leaving a message every time. I'm afraid that he will yell at me, put me down, or take me on a guilt trip.
For You:
I'm not sure if there is more that I should be thinking about with this sick dream, maybe you can point something out if it seems obvious to you that I'm missing something here. But please take a moment and pray for me to be able to live in freedom and not fear in my relationship with my Dad.
Thank you so much.
By the way, I met with a Christian Psychologist that works at the Reformed Theological Seminary and told him a few things about my family. He asked me some specific questions about my dad. After I told him that my Dad has told me, on more that one occasion, that I owe him for what he has sacrificed for me and that I need to "get his back" with everything going on with the divorce, he told with absolute certainty, "In all my 20 years of counseling, I have never heard a Father say that to his Son. I can say with confidence as a professional that your Dad is mentally ill.
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